I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
