Someone shit on the floor
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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