so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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