so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i think i just lost a toe
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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