I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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