So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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