That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
