but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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