so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
