Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
