I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
