the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
