his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
