just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
