I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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