Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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