i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i barfeds in our rink
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
