yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
