Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
