I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
