When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
There are leaves in my underwear?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
