im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
