I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
