I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
