Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
