we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
