I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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