I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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