love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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