Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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