You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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