Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
