I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
