i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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