dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
