it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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