I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i think i just lost a toe
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
that may or may not have been my penis.
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