you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
