Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
