I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize