That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
