No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
