And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize