This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You were trust falling into bushes
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
