That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
