Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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