I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
