its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
