Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
