when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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