Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
