My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Alive.
So much puke
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
