I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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