Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
