I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize