he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
