And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
