aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
