Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
