i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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