i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
