You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
