If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
